During a divorce we look for creative ways to help the parties negotiate a Settlement Agreement without a judge. Through conscious uncoupling and collaborative divorce, you can achieve a faster and less stressful separation.
Divorce is expensive and emotionally draining under the best of circumstances. By the time someone wants a divorce, odds are that the relationship has become abusive to one or both of the partners. When the parties are contentious, the whole process can become destructive, spiritually and financially. Children will suffer as their parents struggle during a divorce and are especially vulnerable to the horrors of litigation over custody.
I’m not here to help you get revenge. Whatever the outcome in court against your soon-to-be ex-partner, it’s never going to be enough to settle the emotional scars that have accumulated in a marriage ending in divorce. If you’re getting a divorce, it means it’s time for you to move on. Getting bogged down in litigation for years of your life is not moving on. Going to court also means that a total stranger is making decisions about your life. This is something you should want to avoid, especially when children are involved.
It is better to take a collaborative approach. Parents can work out any arrangement they want for custody and financial contribution, residences, and schedules, and as long as both parties consent, the judge is pretty much going to sign off on it. You can think outside the box and be as creative as you want to be. If you let the judge decide, it’s a roll of the dice that can be decided by random things that are completely out of your control like your judge’s personal history with divorce in his family and/or personal life, or simply what kind of mood your judge is in on the day you go to court. I’m not a fan of that kind of risk. It is better to take responsibility for your emotions and negotiate. Otherwise you may end up sabotaging your best interests.
Which is not to say that there aren’t times you have to go to Court. Perhaps your partner isn’t in the same emotional space as you, and isn’t open to negotiation. Regardless, it’s important not to let yourself get sucked into that destructive drama.
If you need help with your divorce, please contact me so we can set up your free consultation. It is important to do this earlier in your divorce proceedings to avoid any costly mistakes now.